2020 was the year I woke up
The time has come once again to look back on the year we just had.
This year felt particularly long. And yet, now that it’s down to the last 4 days of 2020, it feels like the year just whizzed by just like that.
2020 was the year I woke up.
This year, my family found out that my dad’s physical health was not great.
We also found out my dad’s financial health was not great. This put a strain on our trust in him, and in a way, on our own mental healths.
My mum and sis fought almost the entire year because my mum just decided that she could not get along with her daughter.
I spent 9 months working from home and felt mentally suffocated many times.
I got affected by a company wide pay cut and tried to stay positive, but still eventually got retrenched due to redundancy. And no, I wasn’t ready (definitely an oversight).
My 2020 seems pretty typical of the average person’s, with the retrenchment, pay cut, and mental health issues standing out the most.
But I’d also like to think that it was the year that made me become more aware.
With more time spent alone in my room, I became more aware of myself, my physical health, my mental health, my relationships with my family and friends, my relationship with myself.
With the retrenchment and uncertain job market, I became more aware of my lack of technical skills and know-how. I became aware that the skills I once had as a fresh graduate was now almost obsolete or not “special” anymore.
I became aware of change — change in my family’s dynamics as my niece gets older and my new born nephew comes into my family; change in my body shape and strength as I practice yoga more intentionally; change in my moods and energy during the different phases of my menstrual cycle.
I welcomed change.
2020 was a year of raw emotions.
With the earth being set on fire due to climate change; the heart break of seeing a black man get murdered in 8 minutes; the gut wrenching tragedy that was the Beirut explosion; the anger felt from seeing selfish people refuse to wear masks; the sadness from the thousands of final goodbyes that had to be done via FaceTime, to those who could not die with their families next to them due to the virus…
In such cases where I’d normally block myself from seeing such tragic news, this year, I let myself feel what the rest of the world was feeling, and instead of numbing myself with funny TikTok videos, I let myself grieve for each of those events.
And I felt myself change.
It’s now 4 days to 2021.
My dad’s health has improved slightly, but my family’s situation still isn’t great, and personally, things could be better for me. But I wouldn’t be where I am today if 2020 didn’t happen for me.
2020 was the year I woke up. And I’m not going to let this expensive lesson go to waste.
I hope you won’t too.
